It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded

The Cleveland Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage--about 20 minutes--during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time looking stupid,
some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.  After slamming several beers in quick succession (as bass violinists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch.  "Hey!  We need to get back!" he said.

No need to panic," said a fellow bass player.  "I thought we might need some  extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra.  About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

Well, of course,"  said her companion.   Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded."


Takes the Dominos pizza sign off the roof 

How does a trombonist make his car go faster?
Takes the Dominos pizza sign off the roof .


Would you like fries with that ma'am?

What's a trombonist say when he gets to the gig?
"Would you like fries with that ma'am?"

The conductor came to my house?

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. As he rushes towards the house he is restrained by several police officers.  "What happened, what happened" he shouts. 

The policeman tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned your house down."

The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"